Overheard

Well, maybe not so much overheard as actually said to me while trying to browse in a furniture store.

Vee got new pisses every Friday. You no see something? Vee got new pisses Friday. Vat you looking? I haf whole {incredibly ugly} set in back. You order. This leather vera nice. Touch this.

A word to the unwise. Leave me the hella alone! Grr and arg!

I told you I was looking. Does my handbag look big enough to stuff a robin’s egg blue sofa into it? Why would I WANT a robin’s egg blue sofa? Hmm? Why would ANYONE?? Could this be why there are no customers here?

Arrrrrrg!

Is anything more annoying than the store owner following you around BUGGING you. Does this WORK as a sales method? Sheesh! Where’s my vodka?

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Hot Men Friday

Luke Bryan

I don't even know what to say about this one. I just may be tripping over the line to the dark side.

I blame it on lack of sleep.

I do like shiny things. :)

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Sweet, Sweet Sleep

I have insomnia.

Bad.

Real bad.

I'm up right now at 1:30 a.m. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't been up most of the night last night, and the night before.

Why, oh why?

I'm constantly on the hunt for a way to sleep.

Melatonin - made me have crazy-ass, semi-scary dreams. I still have a bottle in the bathroom.

5HTP - crazy dreams, but more just disturbing rather than doom-filled.

Potatoes, Not Prozac - this actually helped for a while. I didn't like eating potatoes just before bed. Plus I'm a lazy-ass and more often than not I didn't have any at the ready. And I'm trying to go easy on carbs. See what I mean? Lazy-ass.

Magnesium supplement - I haven't given this one a fair chance as of yet.

So, here I am. It's dark. It's cold in this office. The dog is snoring away. The cat has abandoned me since I had to put him on Prozac (long story you do not want to hear). And I'm a little lonely.

I've twisted my hair into spirals on my head. If someone knocked on the door right now I would ignore them for fear of scaring the living crap out of them. I look pretty weird.

It puts me in the mood to make a list!

Things to do:

1. Finish varnishing doors in house. It's only been 18 months since I stained them. What's the hurry?
2. Organize my office for the 15th time. Where does all this shit come from anyway? You'd think I was a procrastinator or something. Ha!
3. Stay off the gad damn sugar. Seriously. It will kill you, you dumbass. Oh! Was that harsh? Too bad! I hate that I love that damn shit.
4. I know it is as windy as standing under a helicopter out there, but get out side and pick up George's dog-bombs. They aren't going to go away on their own. Amazing how six short months of his unrepentant pooping makes a huge shit-storm for me. Heh.
5. Get a plan for your new little garden. Pick stuff you'll actually eat. Yes, you can do it. Focus.
6. Turn up the hot tub every day. You own it and deserve a nice soak. It's heaven, it's free, and it's yours. Do it!

Ooooooh, I feel much better. Not sleepy, but much better.

Funny how being up late makes me want to turn on all the lights and vacuum.

It this bad?

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Family Dinners

With tax season over, and with that the 20 hour days that accompany the season, and the promise of four hour days looming for the summer, Pup was feeling free and easy and sent out a text message to the young uns saying

Let's celebrate, who wants to go to Fogo?

Pup, giddy with man-crack excitement
(still learning the camera - craptastik photos)

That would be Fogo de Chão, awesome Brazilian steakhouse in downtown Minneapolis. Simply put, this place is man-crack. Not the kind you see on the backsides of plumbers, but the kind where men go CRAZY with steak.

Bella handling a big piece with her dainties

Hot, juicy, sizzling, meat, fresh off the grill, in all the grilled preferences. Tons of it. Dozens of Gauchos running around with skewers of different meat cuts (there's some chicken for the feint of heart - none for me thank you!) ready to slice you off a delicious hunk as you wish.

The sides that no one touched

Rookie-mistake salad bar - I love it though

There also happens to be one of the most amazing salad bars I've ever seen to start with. Most of the boys I've ever gone with to Fogo totally skip this step. They don't want to waste precious room or time with nonessentials. Meat really is the thing here. MEAT!

Mojito!

You are seated, offered a drink from the full bar (Lorenzo and I indulged in Fogo's version of a Mojito - I forget the special name theirs had - delicious!) and given a little, round, button about the size of a drink coaster. Green on one side. Red on the other.

When you're ready for meat, green. When you need to take a break, red. Simple!

Pup and The Big B were ready. Sarah-Bella loosened the belt on her dress to prepare. Lorenzo and I had worn leggings so there would be no clothing interference issues. We were ready. Bring on the Gauchos!

Yes it's true, The Big B never takes off his hat

Activity at our table was fast and furious for quite a while. The boys out eating us soundly. Bella was determined to keep pace with The Big B, but she actually likes to chew her food so she fell behind quickly.

Sarah-Bella is slowing down

The boys always start out briskly, but I do have to say that while the girls do not enjoy the QUANTITY that the boys can intake, we far outdo them with the ENDURANCE of eating. We were still picking away long after Pup and The Big B were trying to sit back as far as they could to let their bellies stretch. Ha!

The service at Fogo is excellent and the manager liked hanging out with us because - well, because we're just that fucking entertaining. I love family dinners. The conversation is fast and furious. We do a lot of laughing and we do a lot of chattering.

Pup pays the huge-ass bill - worth every cent according to him

The best time ever!

The family can still smile even though we cannot move

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The Weekend's the Thing

Perfect and lovely I have to say.

Pup's first weekend of freedom so he was itching to go to a few stores since he hadn't been shopping for nearly four months. Off to the geek store to check out what geeks are wearing this spring. From where I was sitting it was gray flannel pants and baby blue shirts. Oh? That was the store-dudes uniform? My mistake!

Hubs wandered off to see what he could see and I wandered over to the digital cameras to check out what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking Nikon. I have half the cash in my hot little hands so on this day I was only looking. Those fancy-schmancy cameras are expensive. I am lusting big time.

But I picked up a little digital for the pocket since mine is old and heavy and about 4 mega pixels or such. New Olympus is tiny and 12 mega pixels.

I was playing with it, getting the settings set and the lenses loaded when I took this picture. Made me laugh for minutes.

I am easily amused these days.

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She’s a Lady!!
I love winter but it can be a daunting task to transition your wardrobe from summer to winter. Here is some guide lines to push you in the right FASHION direction for winter 2010.

Coats

Coats are the must have item for every lady this season; it’s a basic piece that goes with everything in your wardrobe. It’s very important to get the right style and fit for your body type, if you’re lean and petite you can get away with padded and slightly flared designs. For a fuller figure it’s essential to buy a great fitted coat, look for trench coats with a belt that tie in the waist to create a great figure fitting look.

Colours and prints are huge this season, but when buying a coat I would suggest to sticking to basic black, white, light brow, and a traditional print/design like houndstooth this way your coat can easily transition in to any look.

Accessorize

Accessorize – Accessorize – Accessorize: winter fashion can become extremely boring so make sure to get a great pair of leather gloves and some scarves in bright colours and prints to add to your 2010 look.

The same goes for bags, invest in a bright leather bag to add a splash of colour to your corporate lifestyle.

My pick for the season is Burberry’s 2010 collection.

Boots and Leggings

2010 is all about knee-length boots and patterned stockings/leggings. Ankle boots paired with some great stockings are a great alternative for a glammed up office look.

If you’re not comfortable barring your legs during winter season, then a great pair of “skinny” or Straight-cut Jeans are a must have – neatly tucked into your boots for the same look.

Top tips to avoid a fashion mishap

• Limit your colour/print matching to two per look and avoid looking like a clown.

• Match your stocking/leggings to your shoes to create long - lean legs.

• Invest in the five basic items every lady should have for winter:

1. A great coat.

2. At least five pairs of patterned stockings/leggings.

3. Ankle boots, knee-length boots, and some Riding boots.

4. Colourful leather gloves (lined with fur or wool for added warmth).

5. A great designer bag that will last you through out the season.

• Colour trends for 2010 winter: black, brown, white, cream, and grey with a pop of colour and NOT the other way around!

• Make sure to buy great fitting Jeans.

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Hot Men Friday

Just because.

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Story from the Files

From the Dating Files - oh so long ago

This was written down shortly after I had my date with this guy. For some reason he reminded of Rocky Balboa. He was short, muscular, and just had that vibe.


Rocky
Rocky e-mailed me last Saturday and sounded funny, smart, and interesting so when he asked for it I e-mailed him my phone number. We had a VERY nice chat; waaaaay too long, but witty, fast-paced, and full of lots of laughing. I loooooove calls like this. I am a sucker for them.

He called again on Sunday and upped his original offer of coffee to dinner. We agreed on Thursday evening. I was very pleased! I liked his pictures and his profile was well written and had some quirky moments. Not your typical profile-drudgery.

He called Monday; he called Tuesday, he called Wednesday. Frankly that was probably too much pre-talking. Mistake #1.

I met him at 6:30 last night in front of the entertainment area at the local large mall. He got there literally two minutes after I did. That was nice!

But, if he was six feet tall, then I have access to Oprah’s bank account. I’m 5’8” and even though I was wearing black boots with a small heel he still should have been taller than me. Nope.

We were seated and after ordering he started his “interviewing.” Asking many many questions and watching my face intently. He’s in sales and even though I work in a marketing department as well I wasn’t catching onto his technique at first which I do think was a kind of hard-sell thing maybe coupled with a little speed-seduction. Gaak!

It wasn’t a lighthearted, fun, get-to-know-you dinner like I was hoping we’d have. It was him trying to figure out how quickly he could score.

I maybe should have gotten a big clue when the first thing out of his mouth when he saw me was that I had a “nice ass” and that he has met very few women he’d bother going on a 2nd date with. I think I was supposed to feel “blessed” that he was considering a date two. Blerg.

He fired questions at me rat-a-tat-tat. Questions like How many guys am I dating? Was I looking just to have fun? Why would a grown woman want to play games and not have sex with a guy on the first date if she was attracted to him? On and on.

At one point he said he was looking for a long term thing and he didn’t want me to hurt him. WTH?

He would compliment something about me then zing in a little uncompliment. Nothing harsh, but just enough to let me know I shouldn't think I was all that. I even became a little defensive at the beginning.

I clammed up finally and he wanted to know if he had offended me. I think I stammered a denial. Crap!!

He just was an arrogant-ass.

I stood up to leave, grabbed my black leather coat, and walked out of the pub.

I heard him calling after me, but I skittered away and lost him in the parking ramp and when I had finally locked myself into my car my phone rang. It was him. I thought he might be calling to apologize for being such an ass-hat. Nope.

He said, “Uh . . . I think you have my coat.” Yes! I had grabbed his black leather coat by mistake. THUD and damn.

So much for my graceful exit. I had to drive to his damn SUV and exchange coats. Oh I soooo wanted to stop and toss his damn coat off of the top of the parking ramp.

I didn’t even say a word. Just drove off after the switch.

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