That's Me All Over

Alex Noriega

Scarecrow: they took my legs off and they threw them over there! Then they took my chest out and they threw it over there!
Tin Woodsman: Well, that's you all over!

• Organizer
• Manager
• Web designer
• Decorator
• Gardner
• Cook
• Drinker
• Knitter
• Reader
• Writer
• Remodeler

Knock-knock
Who's there?
I don't know.
I don't know who?
I told you! I don't know!

A few (truthfully? More than a few) years ago I owned a consignment store. Can I say it was the best job I ever had? Can I say I enjoyed it more than Schwan's Rocky Road ice cream? Can I say I worked harder longer and better than I ever had before or after? And the hours FLEW by in that little store. It NEVER felt like work.

I loved all aspects of that store. The managing, the styling, the merchandising, the procurement, even the bookkeeping.

It was a place where I had a few women that shopped with me regularly. A place where a few women would come to me for styling advice. At times the tiny store floor would be all twirly with women trying on clothes and showing all of us how gorgeous they were. I saw my first tramp-stamp in that store.

Once, a couple was inspired to get very very "busy" in my one dressing room!

I even dressed a man as a woman for a party. He said he felt so pretty! Ha!

My girls helped me out in the store, I was right in the community where we lived and they went to school.

That was the best feeling. That moment, that time, the very best.

What is your fulfillment? What knocks off your socks?

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Overheard

Overheard while at the Target.

Deborah, could you please help me unload this cart?

A mom to her little girl. The little girl was about nine. Nine! You just don't see my name out there any more. Kinda went by the wayside like Ethyl or Mabel.

I confess, I totally swung my head around 'cuz I thought she was talking to me.

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Hot Men Friday

Interesting week! And my birthday week. And Pup's and my first anniversary. See what I mean?

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U.S. Open

Pebble Beach

It's father's day! What could be better than watching some golf?

Ryo Ishikawa

This kid is fun to watch. He's bringing great hair on the golf course as well.

Tiger Woods

Tiger might be the one to watch today. He was brilliant yesterday.

Dustin Johnson

The leader going into today. He is 25 years old!

Graeme McDowell

This is the guy I'm pulling for.

Pup and I are going to start the day hitting some balls. He's good, I'm not. I'll try to channel some Philly-Dog while I'm swinging.

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State of Confusion

When I was a kid my dad had a sweatshirt that he would wear camping. It was black and written on the front in all white caps was the phrase "State of Confusion."

It was the 70s and we were camping in a gorgeous place way up north that I cannot for the life of me remember the name of. I coveted that sweatshirt. I loved that my dad wore it with no sense of the irony it conveyed. Or maybe he only had it because it was cold on this particular trip and they sold the sweatshirt in the giftshop. I don't know!

Oh wait! I just thought of the name of the area we were camping. Kabetogama Lake! Such a gorgeous place. I remember visiting this crazy island where a man had been making rock sculptures for 30 some years and letting people come, if they dared on the big lake, and visit.

We had a largish red wooden boat and I remember it feeling so very tiny when we were out on that lake. Scary and thrilling at the same time.

I believe I was in the middle of some teenage angst at the time and had all these thoughts and drama in my head that entire trip. Did lots of sighing because I just knew I'd 'die' if I didn't get home to my boyfriend. Don't you just love teenage angst? You think no one has ever gone through anything like you are experiencing. How could they? Ha!

The State of Confusion. I need to get me a sweatshirt.

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Hot Men Friday

The Tudors is over.

[stomping foot] NO NO NO!

Okay, it's really time now for summer to kick in. It's time for Mojitos, Hendrick's gin with cucumbers, maybe finally drinking that Blue Moon beer that is in my fridge, and grilling every day.

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Quote

Each moment is the fruit of forty thousand years. The minute-winning days, like flies, buzz home to death, and every moment is a window on all time. This is a moment.

—Thomas Wolfe
Look Homeward, Angel

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The Solution!

I was recently helping one of my sil's (shout out to Penny Lane!) get some items ready for a benefit auction she was heading up. So while we were wandering about in The Dollar Tree and while I was looking for some suitable cutie stuffed animals for one of the baskets, I found these:
The idea is the pink one is for Pup to select something and the blue one is for me to select something. Something we want the other to do.

For instance, on the blue doll there is one that says "pick up your clothes" or "rub my feet."
On the pink doll there is one that says "no more purses" (like that's going to happen - ha!) or back rub.
We've been having the BEST time with these the past couple of days.

I'll find the pink one on my office chair - "dishes don't do themselves" selected. I snort. He laughs. It's awesome!

I'll place the blue one in his cookie jar - "wash the dishes" selected. He snorts. I laugh. Brilliant!

The only drawback. I need additional choices. Something like.

Let's run away to Mexico forever

Let's go shopping

Let me decorate the house only the way I want. (teasin')

Stop jiggling my butt

Let's be happy forever

You see where I'm going?

What would be on your request doll?

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Just for the Hell of It

This shot simply makes me laugh. Both daughter Lorenzo and dog George looked possessed.

Those two generally don't get along all that well. He jumps on her at times and sticks his nose where she'd rather he didn't. She's always hollering, "George! Get away from me"!

Once last year George got out of the yard and when she and I found out we ran to Ruby (my jeep) to start looking for him. Lauren is crying pretty hard and stutters, "I don't even like him that much, but we have to find him"!

Ha!

George is rather irresistible that way.

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Eames and Shoots

My dream recliner, not the one we bought.

We are redecorating our living room. Slowly, but surely, getting the bits and pieces we need.

It started a couple of months ago while we were watching Breaking Bad and Pup was squirming away on his end of the sectional.

"Babe, I miss my recliners," he said.

"You mean from the white marshmallow couch," I said? (Retired into pieces in various rooms.)

"A man needs his recliners."

I looked over at him. At his big-manness and his uncomfortable repose.

"Can we look for a recliner that doesn't lose small children and pets in its cushions? One that is a bit sleeker for my eyes," I say?

Does a hockey player wear a nutcup?

So, I was off on my hunt for the perfect recliner.

Found one, we ordered it, it took WEEKS to be delivered. It was a pile. A sorry pile. When Pup sat in it we could just tell it wouldn't last through football season.

sigh

Back it went with a bit of whining from me to the customer service team that guys that like recliners generally don't weigh 150 pounds and what was the point of a dainty recliner? She didn't laugh.

So, off the two of us go to find the perfect recliner.

We trotted off to furniture stores. Many furniture stores. We were getting crabby. The chairs he was loving were so very very POOFY. Large smushy arms perfect for resting snacks on. Large squishy seats for napping.

The chairs I was loving were not right.

"Oh look baby"! He has spotted something.

"This one has CUP HOLDERS right in the arms"! His eyes were shining with happiness. He was immediately reclined in the cupholder-chair and dangerously close to nodding off. Or was I dangerously close to bumping him off? Kidding . . . I think.

"Oh my friggin' god Pup! I can't have furniture with CUPHOLDERS! You want to turn our living room into an SUV"!

A standoff.

He's Pup-pouting. I'm pouting. We're now beyond crabby.

Again I say, "You need a man-den." It's true. Our house is just one little room too small.

So, off to chi-chi furniture store, where I, of course, find a perfect chair. In my eyes. Pup isn't seeing it that way.

"Babe, it's $2,300. I am not paying $2,300 for a RECLINER"!

"Sweetie, furniture costs money."

"The cupholder chair was only $1000"!

I stare at him with guns in my eyes.

Smarmy salesman runs over with leather samples. Oblivious to the malevolence snapping in the air like lightening.

So, off we go to another furniture store. Where, a few weeks ago, we had found the perfect couch with no arguing. And where a few recliners had been rejected outright by both of us.

We walk around the store, tired and CRABBY.

Pup remembers a chair that he rejected back then. He pulls me like an unruly child to the recliner.

We both stand there looking at it. Why had it been rejected before? It's great. We can pick our leather. And get this . . .

we both fit in it! We can watch and recline together. Or he can recline alone in man-glory.

I'm as happy as a dog licking his balls.

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Hot Men Friday

Um, yeah . . .

Love dark and brooding.

And, btw, if you get a chance to see the movie City Island I wholeheartedly recommend it. Surprisingly engaging and interesting.

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Words I Love

shenanigans

brilliant

boner

obdurate

Jeep

wiener

empanada

mojito

daughters

organized

daisy

seduce

sale

published

crapinoli

art

arse

thick
What are your favorites?

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Intentions

I had every intention . . .

of making my bed

of exercising today

of not eating that fourth empanada

of making that call

of walking George

of taking my vitamins

of swapping out my seasonal clothes

of shaving my legs

of drinking my eight glasses of water

of making a new plan Stan

of getting on the bus Gus

of putting on a happy face


Yes, I have been known to wallow in it a bit. It's my Cancerian nature I've been told. And who doesn't like to wallow just a teeny bit from time to time?

It's not pleasant. I caught a glimpse of my face in a store mirror the other day when I wasn't expecting it and, hey! Is that me? I look so crabby! Your face is going to stay that way!

When I'm driving I'm looking to pick a fight with other drivers. Really? You want to do that? I can run your ass off the road quicker than I can say dumbass.

What are your intentions?

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Well?

It has been that kind of day.

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Hot Men Friday

I saw Sex and the City 2 and while I will not bore you with my review, I will pay homage to John Corbett.

I'd heard here and there that he didn't look as good and I say WHA??

I'm a really big fan of the United States of Tara so I knew how he was looking now and I've always been attracted to his lanky legs and BIGNESS. Love a big man.

And his squeezalicious girl is Bo Derek. Whoo hoo! I have had a girl-crush on her since 10. She's the one that started Baywatch IMHO. Men all over the world have thanked her ever since.

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Clyde Barrow Was Once Caught Here

I live in Minnesota, land of 15,000 lakes, long Oooooo's, insane drivers, blonds, blue eyes, and weird-speak.

We have our regionalisms just like all other areas of the country. Ours are uniquely Minnesota as the movie Fargo illustrated (although most Minnesotans were seriously pissed-off thinking the rest of the country would now think we talk like that - truth be told, we do a little bit).

Here are a few:

soda = pop
brownie = bar
casserole = hotdish
sneakers = tennis
"Can I come along?" = "Can I go with?"
"You drive about 10 miles" = "You drive about 10 minutes"
broom = brum
roof = ruff
for crying out loud! = for cripes sake!
big hotdog/sausage = brat (pronounced "brought")
yes - ya

We talk about the weather a lot. Reason? Minnesotans really don't want to know anything about you. The Minnesota Nice? Fiction. People moving here from other states talk about how difficult it is to make friends here. We've made our friends and don't want new ones thank you very much.

Another reason we're so awkward having conversations with strangers is our heritage. There are a lot of Swedes and Norwegians here and they are a quiet bunch. Seriously. Walk into any Lutheran church up north and tell me what you see. More natural blonds than you'll ever see anywhere else. And they are all sitting in the back. Truth.

It's also an area of gorgeous people. All those blue eyes and warm-toned skin. Good bone structure, long legs, nice profiles.

Of course I am using the hugest, sweeping generalizations I can use. But with that is the truth somewhere.

Makes ya want to move here yes?

Didn't think so!

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