The mii Bitch

Here she is. She looks all sweet and innocent, but she gets her arse kicked on a daily basis in whatever she is doing.

Seriously though, she is kind of cute yes? She is my constant companion lately. I play golf with her, I bowl with her, I do a humiliating balancing act with her. I let her holler insults at me while she measures my BMI.

I'll get her the little wii mii.

I have to admit I like it when she says, "You're strong! You have good balance"! She looks just like me.

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The Day After

Christmas was lovely. I cooked (despite my lack of domestic skills of late), Pupcake fetched Momma Betty, the kidlets came, and we had the best time drinking wine, playing Super Mario Bros (sooooo much fun even if I SUCK!), listening to The Beatles (thanks Pupcake! The best present ever!), and watching movies all cozied up in our afghans and snuggies.

So, while attempting to make whipped cauliflower for us girly-types I had difficulties with my Cuisinart. No matter what I did it wouldn't whip my vegies into a frenzy. Couldn't get it to turn on! Am I losing my touch? ;)

So I moved the glop into a mixing bowl and whipped with beaters (this all sounds provocative - it wasn't) showering me and Momma Betty with a rain of cauliflower. Momma B was ducking at one point! That cruciferiously-stubborn mess never did whip into the lovely and light side dish I had imagined in my Martha Stewart-place. Not even close. Not even a block away. Not even with binoculars. Aaah, the joy of cooking. I'll stick to the other joy-of thank you, thank you very much.

So, I sit here in my office, listening to George snore away in his chair and Pupcake working away at his dual-monitor while I count my blessing and ignore the rest.

Merry Christmas everyone. Now it's on to the new year!

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Oh Dear and Oh Oh

Pup and I remodeled our house a bit about a year ago, the kitchen being the biggest thing we tackled. It's quite lovely, but I must admit to not entirely loving the appliances we picked out.

We went with a company called LG. They look spiff, but I truly wanted a Sub-Zero fridge and a Wolf range. I don't have a Sub-Zero or Wolf budget so we bought the LGs. Piles I must say.

So, last night I'm making dinner and decide that I will use (for the first time) my broiler for the chicken breasts. I turn it on and put them in and before you can say "what's that smell"? flames are shooting out of the oven door.

Pup wants to grab the pan, run to the back door, and throw the mess out of the door. I'm wailing and throwing my hands akimbo saying, "no no no"! All I can imagine is hearing the dreaded, "oh oh" as Pup goes reeling through the dining room.

He looks at me and says, "Honey, we have a serious fucking problem here!" Even in his alarm, my Pup is calm and sensible.

After the crisis had been dealt with we were rolling on the floor with laughter repeating his sentence over and over. "Honey, we have a serious fucking problem here!" This will forever be our code for laughing until tears squirt out of our eyes.

End note of story - we ate the chicken breasts, but I admit to feeding much of mine to George.

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Promises

1. I won’t add music to my blog. I love me some good music, but people!, your music is annoying. (Is that complaining? See below.)
2. I won’t apologize only to please. No prisoners just might be something I need to embroider on a pillow. If I remembered how.
3. I won’t give up coffee. I swear to give up stuff all the time, but coffee will not be on that list. Ever. LOVE IT.
4. I won’t judge. No one loves a cranky-ass.
5. I won’t avoid. It’s a slippery place to live.
6. I won’t procrastinate. Well . . . can I get back to you on that one?
7. I won’t stop learning. I had a conversation with a woman a few years older than me who had also lost her job. She declared she was, “too old to learn anything new” and was not going to bother thinking about it. WTH.
8. I won’t complain. Get over my damn self.
9. I won’t be a resolutioner. Be steady.
10. Lastly, I won’t be unhappy. Happy is the best accessory.

Are you thinking about promises?

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Sunday Funnies

Two Tiger jokes - apologies, I just can't help myself.

Tiger in happier days.

Tiger should have taken a cue from Santa and stopped at three ho's.

Did you hear that Tiger is changing his name? He is now Cheetah Woods.

Da dum dum . . . I'm here all week peeps.

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Hot Men Friday

Oh George. Is anyone shorter, smarter, or sexier? I can't wait to see him every Sunday morning. He's a sharp wave on a shallow sea. LOVE HIM.

He became more to me when I first saw his wife. She's a nut and his marrying her endears him to me. I might even have to watch GMA just to see him. Okay - maybe not.

After all, my dog's name is George.

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Progress

Observe cranky face--->
Cranky face is for the gift of procrastination - if today isn't 12.16 then scroll up or forget it. :)

No, I won't be detailing all of this out, but I did want to document just a tad.

Part of the wrecking ball is, of course, getting stuff done. I made a list and this is what has been accomplished. A stellar beginning. It is. Really. I swear. Stop whispering behind my back.

1. Hair. I had highlights done. And my raging regrowth. Shout out to the darling Gabrielle of Juut Salon. She is the cutest young un ever. I LOVE her.
   
2. Hair. Appointment made for cut tomorrow. Aaaaah! Let the anxiety begin.
3. Acupuncturist appointment. Oh yes I did. My sis and bro in law swear this is awesome. The name of the place is Green Dragon. I will leave a trail of aromatherapy candles. Will ya all come find me if I don't return in a timely fashion? Please?
4. Eye appointment with the wonderful Dr. Heyen. I have been seeing this handsome dude for 30 years. Is that possible??
   
5. Orientation for school set up. Eee gads. This one gives me hives. School! For real school, not community ed. I'll bring a paper bag to breath into.

There it is. The wrecking ball is swinging.

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Obsession

I have a new one.

I’ve been toying with my wrecking ball approach to a new me for a bit now. I do love the phrase “wrecking ball.” It alludes (with a huge iron ball!) to tearing down the old to make way for new new new. I’ve been floundering around a bit in my ADD way and having some trouble getting started.

So one morning I’m reading my blogs from Google Reader and listening to the Lori & Julia Show from fm107. A guest on the show is The Makeover Guy, Christopher Hopkins. Here is his wiki page.

I live in the land of gorgeous people and even better hair. There is great hair in the Minneapolis area! There is really bad hair too (sorry Fridley and Coon Rapids), but in the Minneapolis and the St. Paul urban area you can park your arse in many different locations and watch the gorgeous hair walk by. If you’re quick, you can run one of these incredibly fit people down and pound the name of their salon out of them. Maybe.

After all, we’re the home to Aveda (I grew up in Highland Park – home to Horst of Austria, the father of Aveda), Rocco Altobelli, Jon English Salon, Juut, Christopher's own ReVamp Salon, and so many others – one better than the next. I’ve been to more of them than I can count, but we’re not going to go into my hair-history. I don’t want to cry.

So I’m listening to Christopher Hopkins talk on the show and I remember that I own his book, Staging Your Comeback: A Complete Beauty Revival for Women Over 45. I run over to my bookcase to find it!

I bought it a couple of years ago when it came out. Christopher (imagine me saying that like Adriana from the Sopranos – Kristafah!) is a local style expert. Hair, lifestyle, fashion, decorating, everything. I’ve seen many of his makeovers on television, read about him in the newspaper, and listened to him on the radio over the years. In fact one of the Second Act women in his book is my former boss from Hazelden, Linda. I squealed when I saw her in the book! She is a lovely woman and he made her seriously stunning.

I met Christopher once myself. Or should I say I startled/annoyed him once.

I wish!

A woman I used to work with, Amy, is the niece of Uncle Gary – Minneapolis man-for-everything. I love Uncle Gary. In fact, he once said to me, “Bettie, (he thought I looked like Bettie Page) if I were straight, I would make you howl at the moon,” but I am going off-point.

Amy had gotten tickets from her Uncle Gary to a posh club opening and her hubbins, Bubba, wouldn’t go. She asked me.

I fretted over my outfit, makeup, hair, everything. We were going to be hanging out with all the Snaabs that our area can serve up. And the people at the club were beautiful! It was a blast to just hang at the bar, chat up the cute bartenders, drink the horrible sweet free drinks, eat the brilliant free tappas, and get an eyeful of all that is beautiful in Minneapolis. Oh the gorgeousness!

Amy turned to me and said, “We are the ugly bettys in the room you know.” I had to agree. With my Ann Taylor Loft outfit (I panicked – what can I say?) and her weird shawl, we really were a pair.

But after some lubrication of the alcohol-type, a gathering around us of fun people we somehow knew, and a few new people drawn to us because we’re fun, we really begin to laugh and sparkle.

I followed Amy outside to cool off and watch her smoke when I spotted Christopher.

“Christopher!,” I screeched. He turned, startled, towards me. I was just drunk enough to let my social-tourette's have its way. I saw his face go through several thoughts, do I know this woman? No, I don’t. Who is she? Is she dangerous? No – she’s just badly dressed. I saw it! Brilliant!

He looked me up and down and said, “I can see what you’re trying to do here.” Oh! Amy and I collapsed into laughter.

“I know Uncle Gary, Christopher! He loves me!”

The drunken, bitchy woman-lawyer that was hanging with us turned to me and spat, “Uncle Gary loves everyone you dumb-ass.” So much for Christopher and me having a connection.

Ugly bettys indeed! Hey, I’m more comfortable at Whiskey Junction. I drive a Jeep Wrangler, not an Audi.

Back to the book.

I’m excited. I am loving this book. It goes into DETAIL! Detail is important. It’s easy to just tell women, find a good stylist, get wardrobe basics, eat right, work out, blah blah blah. This book has details. Step by step details that appeal to my ADD.

I’ll report on my progress.

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Sundays

They are the best.First we brought in the tree that we picked out last night.

Then I made Sunday morning eggs.

Then I got beautiful.

Goofed around in the office.

Watched some football with Pup.

Read my book.

Calvin took a nap.

Pup put lights on the tree. This pic really is bad!

We went to the kidlet's house for dinner.

Girls drink wine while . . .

Boys cook.

A brilliant day.

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Final Range: Androphagous

The Design School Southern Africa

My final range at The Design School Southern Africa: Androphagous was aimed at the young female moguls of modern society. Androphagous' literal meaning is "Man Eater" and I used it to promote young women in the corporate world and the transition between work and play.

My goal was to design a range that could be easily mixed and matched with items already in a young women's wardrobe.

Designer: Stanley Raw

Photographer: Judy van Staden

Model: Lucinda Schoeman

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Call Back

After completing my internship at People Magazine, I was invited back by them to help out on their 2009 Swim Wear Fashion Shoot. At this incredible shoot I got the opportunity to work with Model/Actress Tanya van Graan.

Special Thanks to People Magazine for inviting me back to work on this incredible shoot!!

Photographer: Grant Difford

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Internship at People Magazine

As part of my BA Fashion Design & Marketing degree I had to complete an internship in the feeld I intended to work in: and I got the opportunity to work with People Magazine as a Fashion Intern.

During the second week the editor, Andrea Caknis informed my self and the other interns that we had to come up with a concept for the 2009 Women's Day Fashion Spread. She explained that she will review our ideas and the one she chose will be used. My concept got chosen and we the interns were given the opportunity to spearhead the entire production. Each intern got one Editor form other magazines to work with as a model, I was assigned Frith Thomas editor of Women & Home Magazine.

With the conceptualization of the shoot I came up with the poses for all the editors and helped with the decisions of each editor's look. The actual shoot took place at The Grace Hotel in Rossebank, where I took charge of the direction and positioning of the models and looks.

Working with People Magazine was truly an eye opening experience, the opportunity I got to work with professional people with in the magazine and publishing field was amazing!

This experience just re-confirmed my passion for publishing & editing.

Frith Thomas: The Editor of Women & Home Magazine

Special thanks to People Magazine for giving me the opportunity of completing my internship with their amazing team!!

Stylist: Stanley Raw

Editor: Andrea Caknis

Fashion Editor: Mandy Varrie

Photographer: Grant Difford

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Giving Back & Helping Out

During my second year final exam I was up late working on a project and an interesting documentary on Primordial Dwarfism caught my eye: a story of a 13 year old girl called Hannah, and it showed the every day struggles of these individuals. During the program Hannah explained how difficult it was to find properer clothes because of her out of proportion age and size.

I decided to contact Hannah's mother to ask if I could lend a helping hand, and a few days later I received a reply asking if I were up to the challenge of making Hannah's Halloween Costume
"a friendly witch"

I jumped on board and started right away, juggling the costume and my final exams at the same time, and I only had 2days to complete it because the email came a week before Halloween and Hanna lives in the USA (Minnesota). Luckily the costume arrived on Halloween a few mints before Hannah went out Trick or Treating!!

Hannah and her Family last Christmas.

Hannah dressed in the "good witch" costume I made.

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Forever Black

Sanlam SA Fashion Week Competition 2009

"...design a little black dress with a new twist, using recycled materials only, and only by using BLACK as your colour pallet."

The inspiration behind this brief was to make the fashion consumer aware of the impact that the industries is having on the environment, and how we as fashion designers can help to make a difference. My Inspiration Board was designed to create the illusion of looking in to a "scrap yard".

I decided to to construct a corset made out of insulation tape and a a-symmetrical skirt made out of safety belts, along with a "top-hat" to complete the over all look.

Designer: Stanley Raw

Photographer: Judy van Staden

Model: Noelani Nel

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Local Fashion

Being a fashion lover I always keep my eye on Local designers and fashion updates. I've competed in the 2008 & 2009 Sanlam SA Fashion week competitions and attended many fashion shows and exhibitions to ensure that my knowledge of fashion here in SA is up to date.

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French Revolution

The French Revolution Design Brief was based on the Revolution of France 1789.

"...design a French Brocade Tailored Jacket and matching Tiered Skirt"

Inspiration Board

My inspiration for this design brief was largely based on the decadence before the war and the new found freedom after the Revolution. My focus was on rich colours like gold, deep red, black and Jewel colours combined to create a strong theme through out the range.

My designs was aimed at empowering the femininity that was absent during the Revolution, I used strong style lines to emphasize he female figure, and to elongate the body.

Designer: Stanley Raw

Photographer: Judy van Staden

Model: Lucinda Schoeman

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Hot Men Friday

Oh dear. I am turning into a cliche yes? Ha! But come on - look at that cranky face! And his hair makes me want to toss onion rings on the spikes and win a prize.

And what about his wife yes?

Love it! It's crazy in a fur box, but LOVE HER!

They are each half of a very hot couple. Are you half of a hot couple?

~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, it's early, and I'm still drinking my coffee. Forgive?

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