Overheard

Well, maybe not so much overheard as actually said to me while trying to browse in a furniture store.

Vee got new pisses every Friday. You no see something? Vee got new pisses Friday. Vat you looking? I haf whole {incredibly ugly} set in back. You order. This leather vera nice. Touch this.

A word to the unwise. Leave me the hella alone! Grr and arg!

I told you I was looking. Does my handbag look big enough to stuff a robin’s egg blue sofa into it? Why would I WANT a robin’s egg blue sofa? Hmm? Why would ANYONE?? Could this be why there are no customers here?

Arrrrrrg!

Is anything more annoying than the store owner following you around BUGGING you. Does this WORK as a sales method? Sheesh! Where’s my vodka?