Captain Obvious

© O'Neil

 A little while ago my girls taught me a game. I believe they called it Captain Obvious.

You play it in the car. You are driving down the street. You see someone walking/driving/biking/running.

You holler something obvious at them. For instance, when they were teaching me the game we spotted a woman walking. I stuck my head out of the window and hollered, "You are carrying a yellow handbag!" Which, of course, she was.

You supposed to say things like:

You are a man!
You are walking!
Your top is white!

I cannot stop thinking about this game. I have to stop myself every day from playing it. I stop myself because, well, because I'm a spineless fraud? I'm a gutless wonder? Harsh? Maybe?

I drive a Jeep Wrangler (Ruby!) with no top in the summer, so I'm guessing that the two descriptors above are more apt than even I knew since they flew out of my fingers without my thinking about it. I'm just hanging out there for all to see in that damn car. No way to hide in any dim interior.

Plus, the things that spring into my mind when I want to play Captain Obvious while out and about aren't within the rules of the road so to speak (really?? so to speak???)

I want to holler things like:

Dude, you have on colorful underwear!
Are you crossing the street against the light?
You woke up and decided to put on that hat?

. . . and this one because it's summer in Minnesota

Is every damn road around here under construction???

I think I don't get the game. Or I get it and am ignoring the rules. Or I'm a bitch that needs to simmer down a step.

:)

So, I keep my mouth shut. I'm saving it for really important stuff like:

Woman! Love your shoes!